I was having dinner with some friends who are veterinarians, and they shared this hilarious story with me. It turns out, one of their neighbors was convinced that crows kept flocking around their veterinary hospital because the hospital was somehow encouraging them. My friend clarified that there was no garbage or anything else that would attract the crows, and these birds were actually smart enough to sense when they were disliked. In fact, they would even stick around just to get back at people who treated them poorly or yelled at them.

So, my friend warned the neighbor about treating the crows harshly or yelling at them, but by that point, it seemed like the advice came a bit too late. We all had a good laugh about it, and someone jokingly said, “Lisa, this is perfect material for a blog post. ‘The Crow Knows…'” That got me thinking, though. If crows are perceptive enough to pick up on these things, there’s definitely a message here for managers.

Managers, let’s talk about how you perceive and treat the members of your team. It’s only natural to have people with whom you prefer to work and others you may not care for as much. However, just like the crows, the humans on your team can sense whether you like them or not. They can tell if you genuinely appreciate them, even if you never explicitly say it.

The effectiveness of your leadership directly depends on your ability to lead, and it’s difficult for someone to freely follow a leader who they know doesn’t like them. Most of us don’t willingly choose to follow people who dislike us. If this is a real challenge for you, there’s a way to address it.

First, acknowledge your feelings. Recognize that you have a negative perception of certain team members and understand that you need to change it. Make a commitment to figure out how to improve the situation and trust that there’s a solution.

Next, identify the root of your negative feelings. What is it about these individuals that bothers you? Once you’ve pinpointed that, take the initiative to get to know them on a deeper level. Look for something you can connect with—a reason to feel compassion for them. Trust me, there’s always something if you dig deep enough. Perhaps they had a tough childhood or frequently felt overlooked, which could explain why they seek attention by talking excessively.

Your goal is to establish a connection with their humanity. When you do, your judgment will fade away, and you’ll find that your appreciation and compassion for them will grow. You might even discover that you actually like them more than you thought. So, keep searching for those points of connection!

That’s all there is to it. It’s not some magical solution; it’s simply a human approach. A sincere connection has the power to heal many things. Remember, if crows can pick up on how they’re treated, so can humans. Treat them with genuine care and respect. They can tell the difference.

Best regards,

Dr. Lisa

Our theme song is “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye.