We have been talking about independence all month, considering different groups and ways to look at it.  We know the power and goodness of independence, but what about interdependence? We don’t talk as much about it, but to me it is essential to our collective success.

I called a friend and asked her to help brainstorm  ideas for my blogs this month.  She was amazing as she always is.  She offered: “I want to tell you something about your blog and what you are doing – every time I see your logo.”  I got quiet, unsure of where she was going, fully braced for critical review and feedback. She has known me for a long time and I trust implicitly what she says. I was ready to absorb and implement her thoughts.  And then I heard her voice crack and she said how the blog and podcasts, etc. encouraged her – how it reminded her to fix her crown.  I could not have anticipated that.  What a blessing!  And what a great encouragement to me.

Those moments keep me creating when there are not many comments on the post.  It means something to somebody (several somebodies I love and who love me).  So, I keep writing. In that moment, I reminded her that her crown never needs fixin’.  It’s always on straight. She just needs to remember it’s there in moments of uncertainty.   Interdependence.  It occurred to me how two women, fiercely independent are interdependent.  We are better because we have each other.  We both get a little closer to self-actualization because we both are fully present in each other’s lives.   We are mutually dependent, with reciprocity and without control.  It’s a lovely thing.  It’s the best kind of vulnerability.  If we can find interdependence in our lives and in our relationships with one another, maybe one day we can find it between the races and genders and sexual orientations, ability, etc.  That mutuality might help us find a way to end the isms once and for all.

Dr. Lisa

PS: Our theme song is “Count on Me” by Cece Winans and Whitney Houston

PPS: Identify your relationships rich with interdependence and let ’em know how much you need them!