Have you ever experienced the pain of a breakup, where the relationship and the person you lost consumed your thoughts? Most of us have been there, or have witnessed a loved one going through it. During such times, friends often show up with a much-needed distraction. It’s interesting how distractions can take you off your game, but when used thoughtfully, they can be a powerful tool to get you back on track. Your mind can’t be on two things at once, so well-placed distractions absorb time that you might have otherwise spent ruminating on the pain. If the distraction is enjoyable, it can facilitate the old saying “time flies when you’re having fun,” and time is a key healer.

When you are immersed in something enjoyable, it’s hard to focus on the negative. That’s why friends take you out when you are down. The time spent laughing and joking is less time spent grieving. The reminder that you can still enjoy life is crucial when you are consumed with sadness. To be clear, distraction is not a cure-all, nor does it replace professional support for those experiencing severe depression. However, when it’s just temporary sadness, a temporary distraction can serve well because you cannot focus on your negative thoughts while you’re engaged in an activity.

We know that ruminating on negative thoughts does not lead to success. Sometimes it’s helpful to use outside distractions to stop the recurring negative thoughts. One negative thought begets another, so injecting positive thoughts into the mix is essential. However, it’s challenging to be intentional about this. That’s why friends show up and force you out when you don’t feel like it. They intuitively know that you have to get out of the loop you’re in by engaging in some powerfully placed distractions.

As a child, I remember feeling like summer break took forever to come, and the first day of school after a long summer was boring. Now that I’m busy, time flies. If I’m having fun, it goes even faster! The old saying is true – time flies when you’re having fun. You can leverage this wisdom by thoughtfully placing distractions to move yourself forward. You have to give yourself permission and guidance to have some fun as soon as possible. I’m not suggesting that you avoid emotionally dealing with your pain, but dealing with it and ruminating on it are two different things. Choosing to deal with it and then supporting yourself through the painful change with well-placed distractions is a strategic play.

Distractions can work against you, as discussed in an earlier blog. However, they can also be used as a tool to move forward. The key to this is your conscious awareness of what you need and when you need it. Whether distraction is in your way or the exact tool you need to improve, your awareness of making the most of your life every day is the most important thing.

So, be aware of your emotional state, and allow yourself to have fun and experience well-placed distractions to help you move forward during difficult times.

Dr. Lisa

Our theme song is “Welcome Distraction” by Taylor Swift (unreleased).